


Dimension Breach

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Red Dwarf, Sapphire and Steel
Genre: Gen, Locked In, Obscure and British Commentfest, Trope Bingo Round 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 04:24:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1674605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Transient Beings were very thorough. There simply isn't any way out. But a little thing like that isn't going to bother Ace Rimmer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dimension Breach

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Прорыв измерений](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5080780) by [Kollega](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kollega/pseuds/Kollega)



> From a prompt by jjpor:
>
>> Red Dwarf/your crossover fandom of choice, Ace Rimmer + crossover characters, being awesome as usual. ;)  
> 
> 
> Also for the 'locked in' square in trope_bingo. 

The trap was flawless. Sapphire had tested each component in search of some infinitesimal weakness, some tenuous link back to the Universe from which they'd been exiled. All she had done was prove that they could never escape. 

She and Steel were now standing side by side, as they often did, gazing out of the window at the changeless, uncaring stars. They had been in that position for some weeks, though it was impossible to tell; the cafe lacked dust that might fall or spiders to spin webs. 

Abruptly, she felt Steel tense beside her. 

_Did you see that?_ he asked. 

She looked in the direction he was indicating, and felt her own heart leap. One of the stars — the eternal, abiding stars — was moving. No, it was a new star, one that hadn't been there before. 

_I don't think that's supposed to happen,_ she thought. 

_That depends who's doing the supposing,_ Steel replied. 

_It's coming this way._

_Suppose it wants a look at us. Not much else to see round here._

The new star's apparent motion had diminished as it turned towards them, but its diameter was definitely increasing. 

_Perhaps we should stand back,_ Sapphire suggested. _It doesn't look inclined to stop._

_Good idea._ Steel gave the approaching ball of light another look. _On second thoughts..._

He caught Sapphire up in his arms, ran to the far end of the cafe, and ducked behind the counter. Almost as soon as he did so, the building was rocked by a sound of shattering glass, its impenetrable defences smashed like an eggshell. 

Sapphire and Steel rose to their feet and peered over the counter. The window, and most of the wall on that side of the building, were now shards and rubble. Standing on the floor, amid the matchwood that had been the furniture, was a something that looked like a cross between a jetbike and a trimaran. It was chiefly painted bright red, with the addition of luminous lime-green go-faster stripes. Its pilot, who was sitting astride the central hull with a nonchalant air, turned towards them. Even in the dingy — and now badly flickering — light of the cafe, his fur-trimmed silver jumpsuit stood out like a beacon, and his mirrored sunglasses gleamed. 

"This is the two-sixteen express service to Reality," he said. "All aboard." 

Sapphire exchanged a glance with her partner. _I certainly wasn't expecting to see that._

_He can't be what he seems._

_Then go and find out what he is._

Sapphire nodded, and picked her way through the debris to where the spaceship — if it was a spaceship — was standing. Its pilot vaulted out of his seat, and held out his hand. 

"Pleasure to meet you," he said. "Ace Rimmer, expect you've heard of me, doesn't matter if you haven't. Had a tipoff from a fellow I met in Dimension 94 that there might be a couple of deserving chaps in a bit of a jam round these parts." He grasped Sapphire's hand. "Like the glowy eyes," he added. "Does that happen all the time, or are you just pleased to see me?" 

_What is he?_ Steel demanded. 

_There's nothing there. I can feel him, hear him... but it can only be some kind of illusion._

_Look at what he did to the wall. That wasn't an illusion._

Sapphire recoiled as a small bottle was thrust under her nose. 

"Smelling salts. Poor girl, you're in shock. And your friend doesn't look a lot better, if you don't mind me saying so." Ace, if that was his name, gently released her hand and swaggered across to where Steel was standing. "Are you all right?" he asked, using the loud and careful voice of the Englishman overseas. 

"I'm in perfect health, thank you," Steel said. "Are you going to explain how you got in here? This place is impregnable." 

"That's what they said about Natasha Lem, and they were wrong there, too." Ace jerked his thumb at the gleaming red vehicle on which he'd arrived. "That's the _Penetrator_. Built by the Five Dukes of Aldea for a bank job on Asgard. Those boys knew what they were doing when they designed it. Never mind jumping dimensions — this baby can get into places that don't even exist." 

"And how do you come to be piloting it?" 

Ace shrugged. "I'd have thought it was pretty obvious. Caught onto their evil plan, foiled it in the nick of time, blew up their base, rescued a girl or two from a fate worse than death — usual sort of thing. Scuttling charge on the _Penetrator_ didn't go off, so I reckoned finders keepers." He glanced up at the ceiling, and pushed his blond hair back. "Looks like I'd better get my skates on if I don't want to end up under half a ton of cheap joists and plaster. Are you two coming with me, or not?" 

_I think we ought to,_ Sapphire thought. 

_Put ourselves in the hands of a maniac like that?_

_You'd prefer to stay in what's left of this place, and wait for the Transient Beings to come and investigate?_

_I take your point._

"Lead on, Mr Rimmer," Sapphire said, out loud. 

"Sensible. Now, you... sorry, you haven't told me your names." 

"I'm Sapphire. This is Steel." She found herself smiling. "Don't mind him, he's just a bit grumpy." 

"Sapphire, eh? You certainly look the part. Right, then, Sapphire, hop on behind me and hang on tight. Steel, you get the pillion." 

He swung Sapphire up onto the central hull of the _Penetrator_ , waited until Steel was seated behind her, and then hopped into the control position. 

"Enjoy the ride," he said, and kicked at a protruding pedal. "Reality, here we come." 

The cafe was whipped away as if it had never existed; the stars blurred into lines, shifted from white to turquoise to blue, and faded out altogether. A feeling of intense pressure briefly surrounded the _Penetrator_ and was gone. With a casual gesture, Ace tapped a button on the control board of his ship. Light and colour returned, spinning madly around them. As it slowed, it gradually became clear that the _Penetrator_ was skidding to a halt on what had, a few moments before, been a football pitch. 

"Bit off target," Ace said, as the ship finally juddered to a halt on the goal line. "I was aiming for the _Louche Leopard_ — that's one of my regular watering holes. The perfect place to celebrate another daring and flawless rescue." He hopped down to the ground, and held out his hand to assist Sapphire. "And maybe you'd have done that thing with your eyes again for me." 

Sapphire laughed, unable to resist letting her eyes flare momentarily. "I'm sure there'll be other occasions," she said. 

"Then I look forward to them." Ace turned to Steel. "Pleasure meeting you, too. Catch you later, if you're lucky." He hopped back onto the _Penetrator_ , and gunned the engine. "Smoke me a kipper: I'll be back for breakfast." 

A moment later, he was gone, leaving the two Elements on their own. 

"And what was all that about?" Steel demanded. 

Sapphire looked innocent. "All what?" 

"You know very well what." 

"He was telling the truth about the ship, at least. Its origins and history are exactly as he described." 

"Don't play games with me, Sapphire. You know I wasn't referring to the ship." 

"Its pilot, then." Sapphire shook her head. "I'm no closer to understanding what he was. Physical, but not real. Or if there _was_ a reality to him, it wasn't in the same place as he was, if that makes any sense. Anyway, he saved us. I think we owe him some gratitude for that, at least." 

"Agreed," Steel said grudgingly. 

Sapphire allowed her recollection to rest once more on their mysterious rescuer. "What a guy," she mused.


End file.
